This Author Sucks...

Concerning writing, I admit I’ve gotten a late start. I don’t have the education or the natural-born talent. All I’ve got are stories and a mentally unhealthy compulsion to tell them. Equally obsessed, I’ve worked hard to clean-up the spills I’ve made. The start of Summer 2012, I dedicated myself to producing professional-level stories told in a mainstream Active Voice. And I’m nearly done with every scrap I’ve written to date. I’m not lying, check out my revised work Smashwords (there’s a summer ebook sale beginning July 1st!)

Parallel my proofreading and my editorial blitz, I’ve tried telling people who I am and where I come from. I do want you folks to watch my progress – I’m not hiding anything. This is all me – the writing, the artwork, the book design… If there’s a problem, it’s my fault. And if people would just read my stories and tell me what I’ve missed, I’ll get better. The stories will get better. Right now, I’m writing for myself and it’s obvious my goals and expectations are drastically different from the collective bunch of yours. Although, I am socially malleable. A vocal fan base would probably make my seafood casseroles more tasty.

Rather than repeat myself, I thought I’d present my biography in a different light. Please give credit to Bob Weir and the late Jerry Garcia of the Grateful Dead. At risk of depreciating myself, I’m saying I’m this monkey… you readers can be the Engineer.

Monkey And The Engineer
Grateful Dead

Once upon a time there was an engineer.
Drove a locomotive both far and near.
Accompanied by a monkey that would sit on a stool
Watching everything the engineer would do
One day the engineer wanted a bite to eat,
He left the monkey sitting on the driver’s seat,
The monkey pulled the throttle, the locomotive jumped the gun
And did 80 miles an hour down the mainline run.

Big locomotive right on time, big locomotive coming down the line.
Big locomotive No. 99, left the engineer with a worried mind.

The engineer called up the dispatcher on the phone,
To tell him all about his locomotive was gone.
Dispatcher got on the wire, switch operator to the right,
Cause the monkey’s got the main line sewed up tight.
The switch operator got the message on time,
Said there’s a Northbound livin’ on the same main line,
Open up the switch I’m gonna let him through the hole,
Cause the monkey’s got the locomotive under control.

Big locomotive right on time, big locomotive coming down the line.
Big locomotive No. 99, left the engineer with a worried mind.

Grateful Dead – Monkey And The Engineer Lyrics @ LyricsTime.com

---

Purchase Pazuzu Trilogy Pocket books and Hardcovers at LULU.