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A Bent Nose and Crooked Mind

February 21, 2012

I was in a major accident in 2007. I don’t remember any of it – any of the accident, that day or the three debilitated weeks after. I was told I had been crossing a street near my neighborhood in Sunland, California on Mother’s Day, May 13th. A white Toyota pickup truck had struck me and sent me into a downtown Los Angeles trauma hospital. A police report confirmed when and where I had been kicked into the air, and who had been driving the vehicle. A witness saw and recalled the event for the police, but I have no memory. Strange, when I remember people telling me about the day, I imagine the truck was red. Here is what the vehicle did to me …

Besides hurting my pride, the accident inflected a subarachnoid hemorrhage brain injury. I was told I was lucky I survived. Still, all I know when I awoke is that I had trouble walking and my nose had been pressed toward the left side of my face. I thought then I needed to get it fixed. I’ve always been influenced by ancient, lofty superstitions and I recalled the Scottish stories of the Clan MacLennan and the angsty fate of the deformed Crotair MacGilligorm. Because my own witch’s mark, I elected for surgery in 2008 with the money I had received in settlement for the accident.

I awoke from the strictly cosmetic and elective rhinoplasty with more bruises than I remember I had three weeks after the accident. People tell me I had been in horrible shape – with my head puffed and shaved with metal hoses sticking out and leaking blood. During recovery from the plastic surgery, I recalled I had written the first half of my Pazuzu Trilogy in 2005 and had never done anything with the manuscript. Feeling better, I forgot about it again until I moved back to my home town Monroe, Wisconsin.

Although nose jobs seem child’s play in Southern California, a very skilled and recognized surgeon in Burbank accomplished exactly as I had anticipated. The man straightened my face and hid the diabolism of the story I had written. As I stated, the original first half of the trilogy slept until I returned to Wisconsin in 2008. There, I had been rejected by dozens of publishers and agents. So I then self-published my story with LuLu.

Suddenly desperate to tell this story before I die – a reality reinforced upon strangely numb reflection – I published my story despite the conscious, excessive shortcomings of my original drafts. I even went so far and paid to have that manuscript professionally edited at Llumina, which is a relationship that soured because I lost faith in the rather pricey POD publishing house. The story has definitely changed since that ragged year.

I’ve said so before, and I know a good many of you don’t believe me, but I’ve completed the Pazuzu story and have completely rewritten the tale Eight different times. I’ve got other stories, I’d love readers to discover, but this is my passion. This is the illustrated root of my horrible mythology. My Pazuzu Trilogy is an epic story and I hope many, many readers find me and agree.


Matthew Sawyer's Pazuzu Trilogy

Purchase Pazuzu Trilogy Pocket books and Hardcovers at LULU.

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3 comments

  1. I would like to use the first image of this blog entry in a book. May I have your permission?


    • Hello, Fred, Regarding using my likeness… no, you do not have permission to use images of me in a book; not unless you are promoting my books, proper attribution is paid to me and of course fees. Doing so without my permission and knowledge can potentially result in a civil law suit.



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